A Barrage Of Trips & Life Lately

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HELLLOOOOOO. again…. I am alive.

Idk how really but also sorry I forgot I made a blog because I usually laugh at people with “blogs” because come on isn’t that like code for “I’m unemployed and too obsessed with weird pics and talking about myself or making like Popsicle-stick houses” or something stupid like that. Anywhooooooooooo

I had many many excursions since my last update and lemme tell ya’ll it has been wild so I am gonna have to hash it out in a short ish summary type of way that is not poetry because I recently decided that makes me angry.

[Oktoberfest in Munich] T’was cool and basic and my dirdnl was shitty and costume-like which I hated but I got all the white wine I wanted and even ate a weird sausage like a true blacked out white girl in Germany should. It was great and it was AXO as shit and everything I really expected so that was great. The metro was dead awful and I hated basically anyone that spoke cuz german is just so ugly and Munich wasn’t much better but that’s truly to be expected ya know? If you don’t know then idk what to tell you.

[Paris] Welp this is just all around odd. Went with home-friend that shall remain nameless for the sake of many reasons and what not but most of which center around the fact that we slept together after a chic clubbing paris night (oops) and it was good but truly ended up being awk later on. Whatevs. I ate Laduree macarons on the fucking CHAMPS and drank red wine under the Eiffel Tower and it was awesome and magical and dreamy no matter who I shagged (in your face Jade! Fuck that kinda gives it away now doesn’t it… whatever). The Louvre happened and many monuments but the best was returning to Saint Germaine area and having a bottle of Rosé at Les Deux Magots.

[London] So this was for a Core Course trip but I wasnt about to miss out on another fun trip so I made London my BITCH even though we had class trips and stupid business site visits. I made the most of my love of Britain by pouring a whole mini wine bottle into an empty coffee cup and carting it around with me to all the little shitty visits that we had to endure. I even recruited some fun people to follow suit and join me in my tru Brit lifestyle and they are truly blessed now I think, I mean who wouldn’t be. We did the London Eye at night, ran all over Harrods multiple times and died inside at the Christmas Floor, I ate more Laduree in the Tea Room, did the dumb Beatles cross-walk shit (I was forced), and even made it to a cool little street market where I drank from an actual coconut like a fucking basic surfer girl from Venice Beach it was beyond. Also saw Oxford (Harry vibes were strong yes) and enjoyed lots of mulled cider and royal family views from Windsor Castle.

[Amsterdam] Honestly the weed sucked. Maybe being a basic PNW hoe who tried the best kush around as a mere soph in high school made me have high expectations for any type of green but you’d think being in red light district and smoking in the infamous Holland coffeeshop scene would be better. Right? Wrong. It was kinda cheap (4 euro for a pre roll joint) so that was nice but we just got high for like a weird amount of time at a weird rate and then it dissipated so fast. Trés odd honestly. Except OMG there was an adorable ginger cat who lived at one of the smoke lounges and I was in loveeeeee with her she was so cute and like blazed out of her mind cuz she is a fucking cat living in a smoke lounge but it was a nice moment. (Miss u Saki). Anyways that was Amsterdam and it was cool and fast and I don’t really remmeber a lot I guess? OHHH we went to an Ice Bar and it was beyond cool and I took shots of Nutella flavored vodka and kissed an ice sculpture bear so get over it.

[ITALIA] Milano & Firenze & Roma: Amaze AMAZE AMAZING. In Milan we went to a Duomo which I think is italian for dome or church or something religious who the feck knows really but it had major steps and I was racking in like 15,000 a day plus calorie burns by climbing these cunts so that was major. We were only in Milan for a day so we shopped around and saw some cute street things and then got bored so we decided to order itlian bottles of Rosé and chardonnay at this cute Cafe De Ville place and got kinda plastered for the train ride to Florence but whatever.

In Florence wow we had the cutest little Air BNB thanks to an abroad friend (nameless) who was sort of super annoying the whole trip and super bitchy 24/7 but I also like her more than anyone else probably because I see myself in that like way too much. Freaky. But anyway we did more 100000000s of steps and cathedrals and that was great and that was chic and I was happy because you know how I flip out when I am away from an elliptical for more than a day or 2. Food was tricky because this is the land of carbs and what not but I survived on veggies and mozzarella as well as just living off Chianti alone. We clubbed one night but it was just vvvvv weird because the vodka we bought at this shop like barely made us feel drunk and this was after like 10 shots which my lite weight body does not usually allow so this was kinda suspicious. After days and days of shopping, the pointe de veccio bridge was BEYOND WAYYYYY BEYOND. I got leather bracelets and a Stella and Burberry knockoff so bless up. Also toured Tuscany as well and did a quick wine tasting tour that was good but also sort of a disaster and I am not ready to talk about this yet so keep in touch.

ROME. Ok florence was so nice and maybe my fave but Rome was really fucking cool I have to say. We got in by train (fucking Italo) sorta late and ubered to an Air BNB in Travestre or Travisto or fucking Tressemme i really never know what the feck it is. But it was so cute and quite a moment. We saw the Vatican city and the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and all the roman monuments I was dying and totally a Lizzie moment like everyday. I loved the Trevi and got some Gelato (GASP RIGHT???) at the Pantheon and we walked and walked and burned more cals so I was a happy bitch. We drank wine and watched Lizzie DUH and then saw the Colosseum and the Forum as well as some other rome things that were relevant I guess. Also side note: To the sweet man with the fucked up ear in that wine shop, sorry I never came back with the 12 euro I owed you for my wine and Nivea lotion I feel like a MAJJJJOR CUNT for never doing that and u were too sweet to trust me. Plz forgive me. Anyways this trip was great and I was loved and admired for being blonde which u know never gets old like ever. The girls were fun except for the total lbr psycho that my roomie insisted come along mainly because she invited herself but like thats a story for another time so also stay tuned a rant will probably come who knows.

Thats all my euro trips for now!!! Sorry not sorry it is the Cliff Notes version but it has been a crazy semester and things have been wild out here in Cope. xoxo until next update.

I went to Ibiza & somehow I am Alive

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YOU GUUUUUUUUYS.

It’s been literally ages. I was completely swept up into a Copenhagen/Spain/Western Denmark whirlwind coma or culture shock, adjustment, and straight up neglect for my blog. It’s been a few damn weeks, some real insane weeks to be exact.

I have now completely adapted to my class schedule and it’s BEYOND. I get to wake up early and have coffee and do yoga and go to the gym ALL BEFORE CLASS EVEN BEGINS because I don’t start til 1pm. It’s a true blessing. Thank god I am a morning human and not one of those losers who sleep until clear through the 4th hour of the Today Show (AKA the best hour because Hoda and Kathie Lee DUHHH).

Anyways, I am thriving here in the Dane world and recently had many occurrences so I will summarize them all in a few shorts poems for you now. Couplets??? Haiku??? idk fuck off. Just kidding read them. Whatever.

Claire

Cler. From Sweden she came.

By train.

We squeezed into twin bed

TBT.

Ibiza

Fuck Mike Posner jk fuck Miami Ohio girls

so many people. so many drugs

they eat ham in spain

paris hilton glow sticks. chic.

Western Denmark

ew

never

again

the little mermaid.

The end.

 

 

 

Prams, Girls, and Culture Shock

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Well I am fully immersed in the and of Dane! JK I am not at all. It’s very odd here but I strangely love it. Some days are harder than others, I feel jet lag delay and very exhausted sometimes and it gets the best of me. But other days I feel empowered and energized to take on anything. Like a whole bottle of champagne on a boat in Nyhavn Harbour!!!!!!!!!!

I am so lucky to have a living situation that is amazing. I love my roomie Chloe, and the girls on our floor are phenom, so sweet and fun. I was blessed to be in Amagerbrogade (pronounced AH-ma-bro-gell).

Being here is a dream come true, the city is gorgeous (THE CANAL WOW) and everything is  learning experience. But it’s made me realize I love being abroad and deciding nw things, thinking globally and for myself, and being outside a tight comfort zone. Tighter than Betty White is to her Plastic Surgeon (how is she still alive like lmk Betts).

One interesting thing I have found here is the girls, aside from my floor, there are some real bitches here. Mainly from G-town (lol ironic isn’t it??? follows you even to another country) and Tulane. it isnt that they are bad…. its just that they have no desire to befirend anyone who isnt from their school and that kinda makes me sad. But oh well, I think I sorta get insecure sometimes about other people i don’t know.

Luckily I have an AMAZE floor and the girls are so great. Not all of them but most of them that aren’t rude Tulane/Gtown cuz for some reason I have encountered some total psychos from there and I am not responsive to their situation or even the slightest bit amused.

Also people here have no idea where the fuck they are going on bikes or feet or in cars or in these weird homeless carts that people seem to think is cute to throw your little blonde kids in and cal it a day. And the BABIES. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. PRAMS EVERYWHERE. No one here uses real strollers because they have all decided it;s 1945 and we all must use carriages like we are the baby prince George or the Von Trapps who knows it’s strange.

Been having some issues with classes, stupid stressful moments over my gpa and classes but I am fixing it. Confused. Apparently I can graduate in 2017 according to Melanie my advisor back at AU, but she’s sorta crazy so who really knows????????

Things to note:

can’t find coffee creamer

found pink ladies

need pillows and gym membership and clothes

miss saki

 

DANMARK

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DEAR EVERYONE WHO DIDN’T THINK I COULD MANAGE TO GET THREE 100 LB BAGS PLUS MY BODY TO COPENHAGEN IN ONE PIECE!!!!!! I DID IT.

With 4 different luggage carts, 3 different countries, multiple glasses of wine, and some super glare/rude looks I managed to be accepted into Iceland and Denmark without a hitch! Wrestling three monster sized bags in 5in heels and a huge Kate Spade bag garners a ton of respect from airport urchins. And the jet lag is unreal, but I didn’t eat for 24 hours so I look awesome for day one impressions.

But that’s beside the point, the point is that I had the best seatmate ever on the flight to Iceland. Her name was Bestha from Canada and she was huge and warm and glorious and we drank champagne together and she freakin drank me under the table that 60 year old woman. She was on an independent tour of Iceland and it was so cute I blinked rapidly and hugged her sweet soul when we had to part at customs because two super rude Icelandic people got in line between us and I stared at them until they moved.

Anyways that’s also not the point, I just decided. The real point is I am now a Dane, a danish girl (I hate you Eddy Redmayne for ruining that term for me so I hope you enjoy your fucking Oscar or Golden Emmy or whatever the hell you won for that sad movie because now I need to coin a new phrase P.S. I also loved u in that. So chic. So sad. Is Alicia Vikander mean? let me know, Ed).

I am all moved into my cool IKEA looking apartment with a cool roomie named Chloe who I immediately loved. Things are grand compared to the last time I had to share a room with someone (I’m looking at you Abby) and I can’t wait to get to know her more. I knew we would be best friends when she walked into the room with a huge bottle of Svedka.

Currently trying to find a cool place to go out. Also haven’t seen many heels here so that is terrifying. Ciao, or whatever.

Canadian God Mothers in the land of maple syrup and Degrassi

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Greetings.

If you thought by this time I would be safely tucked into the Plaza Premium lounge waiting for my Iceland flight and drinking fine wine and being all cozy and secure YOU THOUGHT WRONG. Want to know why?

Because I landed in freaking Canada where apparently we can’t open the Icelandair desk service because we are too busy playing hockey and being Justin Bieber and sampling maple leaves or being fake French (don’t even talk to me if you are from Montreal what even is that are u french or canadian like pick a goddamn side) IDK what one but no matter what it’s not acceptable! Because since I landed here from Seattle and had bags from the US and needed to go through customs, I have to completely check back into the flight/security.

Except that wasn’t possible because the Iceland deck is closed until 3……. So here I am pushing my 400 pound Samsonite bags around Edmon-fucking-ton and not having a clue where to go.

Enter: my fairy god mothers. Now if you know me, you know that I do not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES allow myself to be near old people. Or trust them. Or look at them. It’s just not who I am. It’s can be really risky guys. But this time I took a chance because I met these guardian angels. I was wandering like a lost little puppy and they showed me the way to the bar.

Dorris (Idk her real name because I don’t like to ask personal questions but I really feel like she was a Dorris) told me the sad news about the desk not opening until 3 (it’s 1:30) and Wanda (dunno her name either but I bet your ass her name was Wanda or Winona either one) was kind enough to point out a small bar where I could get myself a little tiny teeny Olympic pool size glass of wine and watch Michael Phelps float around inside it and wait and wallow until the fucking hockey players came to open my desk and stop saying “Eh” long enough to do their job.

So that is where I am. At Jaspers. With some mediocre wine. But it’s alright because the moral of the story is that we can trust old people once again you guys.

 

Namaste and all that. Xo

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It’s only 4 days left until I leave Bend, OR and embark on my abroad adventure! I still can’t really believe that this is actually happening and in a few more days I’ll be fully moved into my apartment in Copenhagen with some girl I don’t really know. Scratch that, I don’t know her at all and judging by my luck in Freshman year, I have horrendous track records with room mates. Also she is a KD so I am hoping that my love for Laura Conway will bring my better luck from the Kappa Delta gods or something.

I have yet to even touch a suitcase *oops* and I don’t even really know what I need to pack at this point in time, so I am obviously a very prepared traveler! All I can think about is just getting there and figuring out my new life and finding a good cafe and place to get wine. And also wishing it was acceptable to pack that margarita mix that me and my mom found that is like negative 5000 calories. No more getting hammered at Geoffs happy hours and pretending to be from Illinois at the Berks Liquor Store, I am like a full-fledged grown up now! Except not really because that would be gross and I don’t know what taxes are exactly yet so whatever.

*Note to self* Be classier abroad, I just re-read this and cringed and the mediocre glass of Chardonnay in my hand shook. Also maybe I should take a course in writing because my sentence formatting is total shit. I hope I pick up cool European phrases and words but not go as far as Madonna and pretend to be a tacky Brit transfer student.

Things to do:

basically everything

pack

stress out

hug Saki 65 times