A Barrage Of Trips & Life Lately

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HELLLOOOOOO. again…. I am alive.

Idk how really but also sorry I forgot I made a blog because I usually laugh at people with “blogs” because come on isn’t that like code for “I’m unemployed and too obsessed with weird pics and talking about myself or making like Popsicle-stick houses” or something stupid like that. Anywhooooooooooo

I had many many excursions since my last update and lemme tell ya’ll it has been wild so I am gonna have to hash it out in a short ish summary type of way that is not poetry because I recently decided that makes me angry.

[Oktoberfest in Munich] T’was cool and basic and my dirdnl was shitty and costume-like which I hated but I got all the white wine I wanted and even ate a weird sausage like a true blacked out white girl in Germany should. It was great and it was AXO as shit and everything I really expected so that was great. The metro was dead awful and I hated basically anyone that spoke cuz german is just so ugly and Munich wasn’t much better but that’s truly to be expected ya know? If you don’t know then idk what to tell you.

[Paris] Welp this is just all around odd. Went with home-friend that shall remain nameless for the sake of many reasons and what not but most of which center around the fact that we slept together after a chic clubbing paris night (oops) and it was good but truly ended up being awk later on. Whatevs. I ate Laduree macarons on the fucking CHAMPS and drank red wine under the Eiffel Tower and it was awesome and magical and dreamy no matter who I shagged (in your face Jade! Fuck that kinda gives it away now doesn’t it… whatever). The Louvre happened and many monuments but the best was returning to Saint Germaine area and having a bottle of Rosé at Les Deux Magots.

[London] So this was for a Core Course trip but I wasnt about to miss out on another fun trip so I made London my BITCH even though we had class trips and stupid business site visits. I made the most of my love of Britain by pouring a whole mini wine bottle into an empty coffee cup and carting it around with me to all the little shitty visits that we had to endure. I even recruited some fun people to follow suit and join me in my tru Brit lifestyle and they are truly blessed now I think, I mean who wouldn’t be. We did the London Eye at night, ran all over Harrods multiple times and died inside at the Christmas Floor, I ate more Laduree in the Tea Room, did the dumb Beatles cross-walk shit (I was forced), and even made it to a cool little street market where I drank from an actual coconut like a fucking basic surfer girl from Venice Beach it was beyond. Also saw Oxford (Harry vibes were strong yes) and enjoyed lots of mulled cider and royal family views from Windsor Castle.

[Amsterdam] Honestly the weed sucked. Maybe being a basic PNW hoe who tried the best kush around as a mere soph in high school made me have high expectations for any type of green but you’d think being in red light district and smoking in the infamous Holland coffeeshop scene would be better. Right? Wrong. It was kinda cheap (4 euro for a pre roll joint) so that was nice but we just got high for like a weird amount of time at a weird rate and then it dissipated so fast. Trés odd honestly. Except OMG there was an adorable ginger cat who lived at one of the smoke lounges and I was in loveeeeee with her she was so cute and like blazed out of her mind cuz she is a fucking cat living in a smoke lounge but it was a nice moment. (Miss u Saki). Anyways that was Amsterdam and it was cool and fast and I don’t really remmeber a lot I guess? OHHH we went to an Ice Bar and it was beyond cool and I took shots of Nutella flavored vodka and kissed an ice sculpture bear so get over it.

[ITALIA] Milano & Firenze & Roma: Amaze AMAZE AMAZING. In Milan we went to a Duomo which I think is italian for dome or church or something religious who the feck knows really but it had major steps and I was racking in like 15,000 a day plus calorie burns by climbing these cunts so that was major. We were only in Milan for a day so we shopped around and saw some cute street things and then got bored so we decided to order itlian bottles of Rosé and chardonnay at this cute Cafe De Ville place and got kinda plastered for the train ride to Florence but whatever.

In Florence wow we had the cutest little Air BNB thanks to an abroad friend (nameless) who was sort of super annoying the whole trip and super bitchy 24/7 but I also like her more than anyone else probably because I see myself in that like way too much. Freaky. But anyway we did more 100000000s of steps and cathedrals and that was great and that was chic and I was happy because you know how I flip out when I am away from an elliptical for more than a day or 2. Food was tricky because this is the land of carbs and what not but I survived on veggies and mozzarella as well as just living off Chianti alone. We clubbed one night but it was just vvvvv weird because the vodka we bought at this shop like barely made us feel drunk and this was after like 10 shots which my lite weight body does not usually allow so this was kinda suspicious. After days and days of shopping, the pointe de veccio bridge was BEYOND WAYYYYY BEYOND. I got leather bracelets and a Stella and Burberry knockoff so bless up. Also toured Tuscany as well and did a quick wine tasting tour that was good but also sort of a disaster and I am not ready to talk about this yet so keep in touch.

ROME. Ok florence was so nice and maybe my fave but Rome was really fucking cool I have to say. We got in by train (fucking Italo) sorta late and ubered to an Air BNB in Travestre or Travisto or fucking Tressemme i really never know what the feck it is. But it was so cute and quite a moment. We saw the Vatican city and the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and all the roman monuments I was dying and totally a Lizzie moment like everyday. I loved the Trevi and got some Gelato (GASP RIGHT???) at the Pantheon and we walked and walked and burned more cals so I was a happy bitch. We drank wine and watched Lizzie DUH and then saw the Colosseum and the Forum as well as some other rome things that were relevant I guess. Also side note: To the sweet man with the fucked up ear in that wine shop, sorry I never came back with the 12 euro I owed you for my wine and Nivea lotion I feel like a MAJJJJOR CUNT for never doing that and u were too sweet to trust me. Plz forgive me. Anyways this trip was great and I was loved and admired for being blonde which u know never gets old like ever. The girls were fun except for the total lbr psycho that my roomie insisted come along mainly because she invited herself but like thats a story for another time so also stay tuned a rant will probably come who knows.

Thats all my euro trips for now!!! Sorry not sorry it is the Cliff Notes version but it has been a crazy semester and things have been wild out here in Cope. xoxo until next update.


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